A Day In a Life of KARLENE

Monday, September 26, 2011

I want a DIVORCE!

THE BEST DIVORCE LETTER EVER!

Dear Wife,

I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you forever. I’ve been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell.

Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, you came home & didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, I’m gone.

Your EX-Husband

P.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together!
Have a great life!

——

Dear Ex-Husband

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.

It’s true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping Too bad that doesn’t work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I didn’t comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.

After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica But when I got home you were gone.. Everything happens for a reason, I guess.

I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me.

So take care.

Signed,
Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!

P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl.

I hope that’s not a problem.. ;P

Thursday, September 22, 2011

LDR Argument 101

How to handle long distance arguments?

It’s going to happen eventually if you haven’t had an argument already. Having an argument long distance is not easy. There are certain things you should and should not do in an argument.

1. Don’t hang up the phone. As tempting as it might be, this is the worst thing you could possibly do. It is disrespectful and in my opinion no one deserves it. Try to stick it out. Make a promise to each other that you will not hang up the phone.

2. Don’t interrupt. Take turns explaining your points, and hear the other person
out.

3. Actually listen to what they are saying and don’t think about why they are wrong or prepare how you are going to argue what they are saying, just listen. Don’t dismiss their points even if you think they are downright wrong. Show them some respect, if you want respect in return.

4. Tell them how you feel not what they did. Say how they made you feel. For example, “I feel like I’m low priority in your busy life.” Instead of, “You make hanging out with me a lower priority than hanging out with your friends.” The difference? Using the second sentence is going to make them feel defensive and they are only going to argue with you. Telling them how it makes you feel will be a lot more effective.

5. Try to find a compromise. Agree on something you’re both comfortable with even if it means not getting exactly what either of you want. It’s better than not getting what you want at all.

6. Don’t use the cold shoulder technique. This is just as bad as hanging up. Giving someone the cold shoulder (aka. not speaking to them) is only going to make things worse. You’re not going to get any happier, and they aren’t either. And it’s not going to make them come crawling to you for forgiveness and give you what you want (the usual motive, whether the person doing the ignoring will admit to that or not). Just don’t do it.

7. Don’t put off conflict. Handle the issue ASAP. Get it over and done with. The longer it lingers, the longer it will be affecting your relationship in a negative way.

8. Don’t create an argument. Sometimes people will get frustrated with the distance and make a big deal about something small that probably wouldn't usually bother them. Avoid creating an argument in the first place and you’ll save yourself a lot trouble. If you are frustrated with the distance, talk about it with your boyfriend/girlfriend. Venting about what you’re really upset with is better than getting into a heated argument about something unrelated.

9. Avoid having an argument online. If you start to argue, it is better to talk it out, instead of instant messaging. The last thing you need is to be misinterpreted.

*** thanks to Michelle and Frank for these helpful tips! Visit their website at http://www.lovingfromadistance.com for more details

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Waiting for God's Best

I pray to GOD—my life a prayer—and wait for what he’ll say and do. My life’s on the line before God, my Lord, waiting and watching till morning, waiting and watching till morning. - Psalm 130:5-6, The Message

Reflection

I’m often asked how I remain patient with God’s plan for my life when I’m still single. I’ve talked so much about it, it’s no secret—eventually I want to get married. The truth is that there have been many moments when I’ve been tired of waiting for the right guy to arrive. My mum challenged me once. “You need to let go and trust God with this,” she said. I started tearing up. She was right. I asked, “How do you let go of something so important?”

Relinquishing this to God has been quite a process, but I don’t want anything for myself that God doesn’t want for me. Where are the joy and abundant life in settling for something that He doesn’t desire for my life? Releasing this was incredibly freeing. I still believe God will grant me this desire, but I will trust God either way. Until you come to that place of abandonment, the grass always looks greener on the other side. If you can’t surrender something of such importance, the danger is that when it comes you will cling to it and suffocate it, and you may end up hurting the very thing you have longed for. I now feel that I will be able to go into marriage as a whole person. A better prayer than “God, when will You bring the special guy into my life?” is “God, I don’t know what You have in mind for my future . . . but I await whatever it is expectantly, knowing that You know me better than I even know myself.” I don’t want any less than what God has in mind. I want the best that He has in mind.

Looking Further

Have you ever waited for something so long that when it actually happened it wasn’t nearly as exciting as you hoped it would be? Have you ever longed to open a Christmas gift, and after you did, felt disheartened? Have you ever anticipated an event but when the big day arrived, you were less than overwhelmed? Have you ever had a dream so vivid and incredible that when you woke up you were disappointed to discover it wasn’t real life? These experiences can be really frustrating. We certainly don’t want our expectations to let us down in marriage, and if we’re not careful, we can live in a fantasy world concerning wedded bliss that can never be realized in true life. On the other hand, God’s plans for us may be far beyond what we have imagined for ourselves. The prophet Isaiah spoke these words:

Since the world began, no ear has heard, and no eye has seen a God like you, who works for those who wait for him! You welcome those who gladly do good, who follow godly ways. (Isa. 64:4-5, NLT)

The key while we wait on Him, Isaiah says, is to continue to walk with God, getting on with life and doing good.

Living It Out

Have you placed your life and your future completely in God’s hands? If not, as you have your palms open and facing the ground, tell God that you want to relinquish your personal desires. Then turn your opened palms over so that they face heaven, and tell your Father that you surrender your future to His will for your life. It’s a scary prayer, but one that God will certainly honor.

http://www.cbn.com

Mr. "Right Choice" or Mr. "Right Now"?

At least half of all marriages in today’s society are speeding down the highway to divorce, say the statistics. It's becoming clear that many who enter marriage don’t have enough gas for the trip. In fact, the majority of couples spend much more time planning a five-hour wedding than they do preparing to live under the same roof with another imperfect person for the rest of their lives!

In Luke 14:28 Jesus says, “‘Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Will he not first sit down and estimate the cost to see if he has enough money to complete it?’” Jesus was talking about the cost of being one of His disciples, but the principle can apply to anything we think about committing ourselves to. He’s saying that if you haven’t planned for it, saved up for it, and figured out a way to finish it, don’t do it. Yet couple after couple trot down the aisle to the altar, never giving much thought to the seriousness and difficulty of building their lives together and completing the project until “death do us part.” To these well-meaning couples, everything about marriage sounds ideal. Then after the first year, they realize it’s actually an ordeal. Three years down the road they're tired of what they’ve got and are looking for a new deal!

But this does not have to be the pattern for you if you'll count the cost now and plan ahead for what happens after dum-dum-dee-dum. Here are a few marriage myths many of us believe:

Marriage will give me a purpose for living.

Marriage will give me the unconditional love I need and deserve for the rest of my life.

Marriage will give me all the sex I want.

Marriage will medicate all the pains of singleness and will solve my deepest longings.

These lies that you tell yourself will only set you up for a huge letdown. Even the best marriages do not provide these unreasonable expectations. Only Jesus can fill those deep longings for unconditional love and purpose. Only Jesus can heal your pain and make you whole—not another person!

Ask yourself these questions:

Have I put God's agenda for my life above my own desires, whether that be for sex, money, fame or relationships?

Have I dealt with my deepest insecurities and sins with Him alone?

Am I willing to honestly “test the soil” of my potential Mr. or Ms. Right's character before I say, "I do?"

Will I actively wait or incessantly whine until God brings me His best?

And lastly, will I settle for Mr. or Ms. “Right Now” or wait for Mr. or Ms. “Right Choice?”

Here’s the truth. If you want to have an above average marriage that will stand the test of time, it will take a lot of hard work both on the relationship, and on your own character. If you want to receive God’s best choice of a mate for you, then you must become God’s best for someone else. Begin today to put these truths into practice, and in both life and relationships, you will for sure have enough gas for the trip!

By Christopher Burge and Pamela ToussaintBuy the book His Rules: God's Practical Road Map for Becoming and Attracting Mr. or Mrs. Right

Samsung Stunner, Group Stunts, UAAP Cheerdance Champion = UP

Un-ka-vouge-able!

Congrats UP Pep Squad! I'm one proud Iska!

***thanks to 'fotomacder' for uploading the video :)