Mr. "Right Choice" or Mr. "Right Now"?

At least half of all marriages in today’s society are speeding down the highway to divorce, say the statistics. It's becoming clear that many who enter marriage don’t have enough gas for the trip. In fact, the majority of couples spend much more time planning a five-hour wedding than they do preparing to live under the same roof with another imperfect person for the rest of their lives!

In Luke 14:28 Jesus says, “‘Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Will he not first sit down and estimate the cost to see if he has enough money to complete it?’” Jesus was talking about the cost of being one of His disciples, but the principle can apply to anything we think about committing ourselves to. He’s saying that if you haven’t planned for it, saved up for it, and figured out a way to finish it, don’t do it. Yet couple after couple trot down the aisle to the altar, never giving much thought to the seriousness and difficulty of building their lives together and completing the project until “death do us part.” To these well-meaning couples, everything about marriage sounds ideal. Then after the first year, they realize it’s actually an ordeal. Three years down the road they're tired of what they’ve got and are looking for a new deal!

But this does not have to be the pattern for you if you'll count the cost now and plan ahead for what happens after dum-dum-dee-dum. Here are a few marriage myths many of us believe:

Marriage will give me a purpose for living.

Marriage will give me the unconditional love I need and deserve for the rest of my life.

Marriage will give me all the sex I want.

Marriage will medicate all the pains of singleness and will solve my deepest longings.

These lies that you tell yourself will only set you up for a huge letdown. Even the best marriages do not provide these unreasonable expectations. Only Jesus can fill those deep longings for unconditional love and purpose. Only Jesus can heal your pain and make you whole—not another person!

Ask yourself these questions:

Have I put God's agenda for my life above my own desires, whether that be for sex, money, fame or relationships?

Have I dealt with my deepest insecurities and sins with Him alone?

Am I willing to honestly “test the soil” of my potential Mr. or Ms. Right's character before I say, "I do?"

Will I actively wait or incessantly whine until God brings me His best?

And lastly, will I settle for Mr. or Ms. “Right Now” or wait for Mr. or Ms. “Right Choice?”

Here’s the truth. If you want to have an above average marriage that will stand the test of time, it will take a lot of hard work both on the relationship, and on your own character. If you want to receive God’s best choice of a mate for you, then you must become God’s best for someone else. Begin today to put these truths into practice, and in both life and relationships, you will for sure have enough gas for the trip!

By Christopher Burge and Pamela ToussaintBuy the book His Rules: God's Practical Road Map for Becoming and Attracting Mr. or Mrs. Right