Friday, May 6, 2011

Oh Inday!

A repost from a friend : panalo si Inday!


Nawawala si Inday ngayon, kanyo? Nawawala nga. Ito, ikukuwento ko sa
inyo, ang bahagi ng kanyang nagdaan sa bahay ng kanyang amo at may
update din ako kung ano ang nangyari sa kanya:

Magsimula tayo noong mag-apply si Inday ng trabaho sa naging amo niya.
Dumaan sa interview si Inday.

Amo: Kailangan namin ng katulong para maglinis ng bahay, magluto,
maglaba, mamalantsa, mamalengke, at magbantay sa mga bata. Kaya mo
ba ang lahat ng ito?

Inday: I believe that my acquired skills, training and expertise in
management with the use of standard tools, and my discipline and
experience will significantly contribute to the value of the work that
you want done. My creativity, productivity and work-efficiency and
the high quality of outcome I can offer will boost the work progress.

[Nag-nosebleed ang amo pero tinanggap naman ng amo si Inday].

Makaraan ang dalawang araw, umuwi ang amo, nakitang may bukol si Junior.

Amo: Inday, bakit may bukol si Junior?

Inday: Compromising safety with useless aesthetics, the
not-so-well-engineered architectural design of our kitchen lavatory
affected the boy’s cranium with a slight boil at the left temple near
the auditory organ. Moreover, if you look more closely, he has rashes,
too.

Amo: Ha?!!? Bakit?

Inday: Elementary, Ma’am. Allergens triggered the immune response.
Eosinophilic migration occurs in the reaction site & release of
chemotactic & anaphylotoxin histamine & prostglandins. This substance
results in incomplete circulation to the site promoting redness.

Amo: Ah, ganon ba? O, sige, ok. Sori, ha? [Sabay pahid ng kanyang
dugo sa ilong.]

Kinagabihan, habang naghahapunan. ...

Amo: Inday, bakit naman maalat ang ulam natin?

Inday: The consistency is fine. But you see, it seems that the
increased amount of sodium chloride. . . . . the scientific name of
which is NaCl. . . affected the taste drastically and the chemical
reactions are irreversible. I do apologize.

[Nosebleed na naman ang ilong.]

Amo: Bakit tuwing pag-uwi ko, nararatnan kitang nanunuod ng TV?!

Inday: Because I don't want you to see me doing absolutely nothing.

[This time may kasabay pang himatay ang nosebleed].

Isang gabi, may nag-text kay Inday--si Dodong, ang driver ng
kapitbahay. Gustong makipagtext- mate. . .

Inday (to driver): To forestall further hopes of acquaintance, my
unequivocal reply to your request is irrevocable denial.

Driver (to Inday): Inday, your perception has no substantial bearing
on what the deep recesses of my being is contemplating. May I
therefore assiduously move for your benevolent reconsideration. I was
merely attempting to expand my network of interests by involving you
in my daily experiences. Heretofore,however, if you so desire, you can
expect an end to any verbal articulation from me!

Eh, narinig pala lahat-lahat ng amo ang pag-uusap nina Inday at ng driver.

Amo: Mula ngayon, walang magsasalita ng inggles sa pamamahay ko. Ang
sinumang magpadugo ng ilong ko at ng anak ko, palalayasin ko sa
pamamahay na ito!

Inday: Ang namutawi sa inyong bibig ay mataman kong ilalagak sa
kasuluk-sulukan ng aking balintataw, sa kaibuturan ng aking puso, at
palagi kong gugunam- gunamin. Sakbibi ng madlang lumbay kung
mapapalis sa gunita yaring inyong tinuran.

Amo: Leche! Hindi kami sinauna! Yung makabagong wika at salita
ang gusto kong gagamitin dito sa bahay ko!!

Inday: Tarush! Pachenes pa 'tong chorva eklavubo chuva tabayishki
kun suplandish!

[Inilibing na raw ang amo. At hindi na ngayon mahagilap ang Inday].

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